Oregon Coast, sigh...

Thankfully, we live near enough to the Pacific Ocean that we can visit it from time to time. I love the beach.

We try and have a mini vacation at the coast at least once a year. Past two years we went for my birthday/Valentines Day in February. Winter months are obviously more wet and damp, but the rates are fabulous and the storms are worth watching!

This year, James and I got to go (wait for it) ALONE.. (GASP!) for our 10-year wedding anniversary. Oh, it was so relaxing and wonderful! Yes, we did feel guilty leaving the girls, but Grandma Janis, my mother-in-law, (who was awesome enough to fly all the way from Northern Nevada to watch the girls) constantly updated us with phone pics, videos and texts. That made it easier to let go for a while. :)

We stayed at the Inn at Spanish Head in Lincoln City, Oregon. Arriving to our hotel room, we were welcomed with rose petals sprinkled on the bed and chilled champagne in the refrigerator. 

The weather was not too chilly. In fact, it was too hot in the hotel room on the first day we stayed there, and it wasn't from us! heh heh
We opened up the windows and listened to the waves crashing on the shore right under us.

It was so nice to have room service and enjoy each other again. Our marriage has been quite strained since the birth of our newborn in October. A lot of arguments followed stemming from fatigue, illness, melancholy, feeling of being unattractive mixed with the feeling of helplessness, loneliness, getting used to new routines and a new BODY in the house... dichotomy of sorrow mixed with total happiness. I know that seems like a paradox. But it was such a roller coaster of both extremes. 

Since our mini-vacation, I feel like we have found each other again. Not just lovers but friends again. It was almost like a second honeymoon. We'll definitely be going back.

How Lucky We Really Are... (aka: Instant Gratification)

People whine too much. Okay, let me start over by saying *I* whine too much. Yes I whine. It's human nature to whine and God knows I have done my fair share of it. I like to get my way, who doesn't? Being brought up a spoiled, yet polite, girl, I want what I want when I want it.

However

If we really take a deep breath, step back and take a look at our lives, we find that we usually have all we really need. ("Princess and the Frog" even states that, thank you, Disney.)

For example, I complain about this that and the other thing, but in reality, all the pros outweigh the cons. By uncountable measures.
I have a beautiful family, a loving goober of a husband for 10 years, two gorgeous/smart daughters, a roof over my head, food in the fridge, cars to drive, gas in the cars, jobs to get to complain about (LOL I really do love my job), friends to complain *to* not *about*. Financially we are a little better off than we were last year, a lot better off than we were 10 years ago and WAY better off than some families in other countries.

Yet I will always complain about what I cannot have at the exact moment I want it. No instant gratification. My wantings may wane over time and I may not want whatever it is anymore. Isn't that the irony?

We are so immersed in a culture of instant gratification that we expect nothing less. And when something doesn't go our way at that same moment, it's hard to let it ride out.

All's Quiet on the Western Front

I think life has balanced out. My parents aren't as fruit loopy; my dad even apologized to James. Thanks God. We don't need family drama. Let's hold off on that until the girls are teenagers, please. ha!

James and I are doing well. In fact, May 6th will be our TEN YEAR Anniversary..... TEN YEARS!!!!
Makes us wonder where the time went. You can't help but to reminisce on time rushed by.
I'll post some of my memories later...

We are going to the Oregon Coast for two nights. I still don't know how that was arranged. Act of God, I suppose. LOL I already feel guilty leaving the girls but I know they are in capable hands of Grandma Janis. (James' Mom) It will be nice to sleep in and have an romantic, intimate moment or two with my hubby. With two girls in tow, those moments seem to be few and far between at times. But it's getting better.

Like in the Beatles sang "It's getting better all the time.....Better better beeeeeetttttteerrrrr..."

Okay, seriously...

So you would think that after my last blog things would quiet down some.

Not really.

You know, come to think of it, yesterday was a full moon. I have not had this many negative things happen to me in such a short span of time.

I count my blessings, you can be sure about that.

We have a five year old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Her name is Charlottetown Romance, or "Romi" for short. She looks gorgeous and her temperament is mellow. She was born in England, became a show dog and a breeding bitch for two litters. We adopted her from the breeder in November of 2008 when she was 4.

To sum Cavaliers up, they are the most easy-to-love dogs. Mellow and loving. Unfortunately, they are known to be plagued with health problems, especially after they reach 5 years old. Heart, eye, hip and brain problems; they can get it all - even with immaculate breeding.

Well, yesterday, Romi came up to me and placed her paw on my foot. I know she is smart, but I found that to be a bit more needy than she usually gets. Something didn't seem right from the beginning. She started to shake and crouch down, like she was going to vomit. I kept saying her name over and over. Being a veterinary technician, I have seen my share of seizures, and this was definitely one of them. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head and she seemed to stare away, never responsive to my efforts to talk her through it.

I held her for a while on the floor, knowing that seizures usually last 2-3 minutes. 10-15 minutes later, I started to be frightened. I tried to let her walk, but she stumbled around in circles all the while tilting her head to the side. That symptom usually is attributed to something wrong with the brain.

Wonderful.

This whole time baby Tara was hanging out in her highchair, as happy as can be. What a good baby!

Needless to say, we rushed her into my work and did bloodwork right away.

Normal. Her bloodwork came back normal, but our lab and doublechecked by an outside lab company.

Now she is resting comfortably and is acting like nothing traumatic ever happened. We can only wait and see if it happens again. If it does, then it possibly means a brain tumor.

I am so done with drama.

Ready for Drama?!?.. Super Drama...?!?

There has been so much drama lately!!
I will be surprised if I don't end up with an ulcer or two at the end of the week.

Let's see:

• First, the most important one~

Today, my older daughter, Tabitha (6 1/2) was watching my baby, Tara (6 mos) for me while I threw away a poopy diaper and washed my hands. Tara was lying in the middle of the bed (like she usually is) and Tabitha, being a very attentive big sister, wanted to watch her while I was cleaning up. This has happened many times, so I thought nothing of it. However, this time while I was washing my hands I hear:

"MOM! SISTER FELL ON THE FLOOR!"

Naturally, I think I misheard her and said "WHAT?!"

Tabitha said the same thing and I went running down the hallway, shaking.
Tabitha was lifting her up on the bed and Tara was screaming.

Upon investigation, Tabi was looking down the hallway to see what I was doing and Tara, curious to where her sister went to, was wiggling herself to try and get a look at Tabitha. She wiggled herself off the bed.
I hate to admit it, but I thought maybe Tabitha was lying about her "just falling". Maybe she was trying to play with her, I thought. Since Tabitha was quite persistent with her story, I decided to conduct my own experiment.

I placed Tara exactly where I had her. I had Tabitha talk to her from the hallway. Tara arched her back to try and see where her big sister went off to and, sure enough, wiggled far down. Far enough that maybe one leg just happened to fall first, then gravity took over.

Long story short (too late, lol), Tara seems fine and Tabitha is extremely shaken, which is rightfully so. I told her that being a big sister means to always watch over Tara, not just some of the time.

• Second~

My parents live across the street from us, which is both a blessing and a curse. My brother is moving, so he is collecting odds and ends that either we or my parents stored for him in our garages. We also happened to make use out of his Xbox 360 Game System for over a year now. We knew he'd want it back eventually, and that was no problem. At about 7:30pm my father called us saying that my brother would probably come and get the Xbox a little later in the evening. My husband, James, said, "Ok, but not after
9pm, since we just put down the girls and Amy and I will probably be asleep by
then."

About 10 mins later my father called back. I answered the phone this time.
"Can I talk to your husband?" he asked, with slight demand in his tone. For some reason, I knew it wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation.

He told James that since he was shocked and appalled by the way he so abruptly ended his previous conversation, he will be over right away to get the Xbox.

Fine.

He came over, very aggravated. I said, "I don't understand what the problem is."

He said to James, "The problem is that you don't know how to talk to people... sir!"

At this point, I am floored since I truly don't understand why he is upset.

"You people obviously don't do stuff for family. James could have offered to
bring over the Xbox since time was such an issue."

In hindsight, I should have said, you know, "I
didn't even think to bring it over. We literally just put down both girls, we've
had a long, exhausting day, James is still toiling over math homework.... so
sorry we didn't think of stopping what we were doing to bring over the precious
Xbox!"
Of course, I wouldn't have said it rudely, nevertheless you always
think of good things to say AFTER the initial argument!

I said, "Ok, I think everyone needs to calm down now. We've had a long day, I am sure you've had a long day."

He cut me off saying, "Yeah, I've been up since 3am."

"Well, there you go!" I chortled back.

"I'M FINE!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, it sounds like you are. Feel better!" I said as he walked out of our house.

"I'm fine!" he repeated as he trailed off.

It has been 2 days and I have yet talked with my dad, although I called and talked with my mom. She said that everyone has calmed down now, but it seemed to them that he was very abrupt with his "9pm" rule.

Of course! We don't even like phone calls after 9pm!

"But we're family," my mom rebuttals.

Seriously. She trying to pull the family card over something so trivial? Sigh.

They are my parents, and I love them deeply, however I am on James' side for this one.

• Lastly~

I feel that James and I periodically bring up the SAME argument. Apparently, according to him, I sit around the house all day and nothing gets done.

Then, when I honestly want to talk about it more and take his criticism, he gets defensive and says "I can't talk to you about this. You can't take my criticism."

Crap crappity crap crap.

I truly don't understand why it seems to him that nothing gets done. In my defense, I am dealing with a baby who does not sleep. And I am sorry, but is it wrong that if she does happen to have a nap in the morning, I take advantage of the "me time" (which I never get.) and either try to nap myself or play games, write on my blog or chat on Facebook?

I feel that majority of the things in this house do, in fact, get done.

In the morning, I have to hurry up and get Tabi's lunch ready for school, get Tabi's breakfast, brew the tea for everyone, make sure her clothes are ready, brush her hair, get Tara's diaper changed if she's up (and she usually is) then get her formula, then feed her breakfast, and get Tabi on her bus and off to school.

During the day, (and not necessarily every single day) I manage to sweep, then swiffer, then mop, vacuum, laundry, dust, clean bathrooms including toilets, clean dishes, put dishes away, clean cat litter (and with 3 cats, one being 18 yrs old, there is almost always an 'accident'.) all the while I have a baby who I need to feed and entertain constantly. Before long, Tabitha gets off the bus, and two times a week we have to hurry up and get to swim class.

Not to belittle the fact that I have no adults to talk to, can get into a funk, get frustrated when baby doesn't sleep or Tabi is extra talkative or my parents make me want to pull my hair out... and honestly, I am truly ok with all this as long as I am treated right for it. Give credit when credit is due.

I appreciate James working hard during the day and going to class to achieve his dream of becoming a pilot. I support him 100%. James is awesome for helping with making dinners pretty often, as well. For all that, I always express my gratitude.

I guess I feel that everything seems to be about him, never about how I feel. If it starts out about how I am upset about something, for some reason, the argument flip flops and I end up being the bad guy.

Our 10 year wedding anniversary is coming up in a week. Maybe so much has happened so quickly that we are still trying to adjust? hmm... Maybe not.

Anyway, so here I am exhausted, but I try and keep a positive outlook on things. You have to.

Thank goodness writing is so cathartic!

"Valmont"

I am watching an interesting movie from 1989 called "Valmont". It has Henry Thomas in it! Yes, little (well, not so little anymore) Henry from "E.T." I knew I saw him somewhere, so I checked the Internet Movie Database.

Ok, I am a IMDB junkie.
For all who don't know:
http://www.imdb.com/

I can get stuck on it forever... you check one movie for actors, before you know it it's been 2 hours and you are reading up on minuscule actors from the 1980's.

Anyway, back to the movie. It's kinda cute. I am a sucker for historical films. Precious. Colin Firth plays the flirtatious Valmont, who has quite a Casanova-esque reputation. It's romantic, comedic and dramatic. Apparently it was nominated for Oscars at the time.

The actual synopsis is as follows:

"Set in Baroque France, a scheming widow and her lover make a bet regarding the corruption of a recently married woman. The lover, Valmont, bets that he can seduce her, even though she is an honorable woman. If he wins, he can have his lover to do as he will. However, in the process of seducing the married woman, Valmont falls in love. Based on the same novel as 'Dangerous Liaisons'."

The acting is well done and the costumes are to die for!!!!!
It's beautiful. Check it out. :)

Credit and all that

Credit is evil, honestly.

I think Shakespeare said it well when he said:
"Never a borrower or lender be."

Yes, don't get me wrong, I LOVE the feeling when you can purchase something on credit. You swipe your card, sign your name, take the item home and its yours. YAY

Then comes the bill.

For example, James and I are in the process of purchasing new wedding rings. Our ten-year anniversary is coming up in May and our first rings were given to us by his father. Yes, the original rings still hold sentimental significance, but they are simple -yet sweet- and now that ten years has flown by, we think we deserve something with a little more pizazz to it.

I am getting 1/2 carat,three stone diamond ring, which I can add an enhancer to later. VERY EXCITED.

James is shooting for a 24K White Gold band with Celtic knot work completely engraved around it. Gorgeous. But don't be surprised folks! His band is almost the same price as my diamonds! Yes, I don't get it either.

Anyway, we are very excited. And although this is something we have talked about this purchase for years, now we will have ANOTHER thing to pay on. Unwise choices in our past led us to at least somewhat understand money and its' dichotomy of good and evil. But now it's another thing to budget in monthly.

SIGH

We need to win the lottery.