Goings-on in the life of a thirty-something, *quite* sleep deprived mother of two.. Family life drama and rantings, children, relationships, pets, movie critiques... :)
So, since it has been forever and a day, let me bring you up to speed...
First we had Romi.
Unfortunately, she passed away on June 23, 2012.
She was a sweet soul who had a brief time on Earth. :(
Abdominal cancer... ugh.
I wrote this on my Facebook post:
"Rest easy now, Romi, sweet princess. We'll see you again someday in Heaven. Meanwhile, eat all the treats you want and have fun playing and cuddling with Monty, Saber and Tribbles, who are there to meet you. Tell them how much Tabitha and Tara have grown. We love you and miss you terribly. Our hearts ache, but we understand that you were in intense pain while you were here on Earth... We'll always feel you at the foot of our beds and miss the way you would gently nudge us to pet your silky ears... We love you now and forever. "
Oh, ya.
So, before Romi there was:
Monty
Saber & Tribbles
As far as cats go, we still have:
Pandora
and
Charlie Chaplin Moo
As a kitten...
...now all grown up
Anyway, back to the dog timeline.
Romi passed and we were devastated.
Only a couple months later, we acquired:
Monet
(Moe)
(I just LOVE Tara's photobomb!)
and shortly after that
Katie
who we lovingly refer to as KatieBug Magee
Just recently, a family at my veterinary clinic decided they couldn't deal with their elderly Cavalier, Biscuit, anymore. The family gave us a little over one week to find her a home or they'd euthanize her.
Now, that may sound callous, and it is to some degree, but I understand their desperation.
They kept her in the laundry room all the time because they work full time, have children who are in college and don't have the time to let her outside every couple hours...
They owned Biscuit for almost 12 years. They loved her and gave her everything.
Now that she is an old girl, with all of her old girl issues, they don't have time to give her the appropriate attention and love that she needs.
I have known Biscuit for almost 10 years.. I couldn't let her be put down if it wasn't her time. My husband wanted to help, too. So, we decided to take her home for a trial run..
Right away we knew that she adopted us.
Yes, she is mostly deaf and has incontinence issues... maybe even a kidney issue... but she is happy.
We'll just keep on giving her the best quality of life we can give her until the end.
Biscuit and Tabitha
The Three Musketeers.. er.. Cavaliers!
So far, it has been 3 days since she has urinated in the house!!!
YAY!!!!
She still urinates overnight on her bedding in the crate,
As I get older in life, and presumably wiser, I grow more in
awe of life around me.
Stop for a moment and listen. Breathe. Look around.
The beauty around us is enough to make anyone weep with joy!
On the other end to that spectrum, the evil around us is
enough to weep with anger and sadness!
Our children grow faster than the speed of light. They start
becoming little persons. They start stating their honest opinion of things whether
we like it or not. These sponges now have a voice of their own. Who helped to mold
and shape that little person?
Mine looked like this:
Now they look like this:
and this:
Our children become mirror images of us. We need to remember
that they constantly feel our vibes. They learn from our love…AND our hatred. A
little sarcastic or a snide remark in passing that we don’t think matters…
matters to them. On the other side to that coin, they also learn from us when
we do pleasant things. For example, when we do something for someone without
being asked or give an honest compliment, they see it and it sticks with them. Contrariwise,
they get confused when they see us doing something nice for one person, yet
acting terrible to another.
A child who sees their parents show appropriate affection to
each other will in turn look for that in a partner. A child whose parents
outwardly show hatred towards something will also mirror the same. I’m not just
talking racism and intolerance, I’m also talking hatred towards other human
beings whether it be to the other parent, family member or complete stranger.
Parenthood is rocky. You have all-time highs and intense
lows. You have constant lack of sleep. From the time they are a newborn until
they are adults you lose sleep for SO many reasons in EVERY stage of childhood.You are burdened by financial and moral
dilemmas. You are upset over something at work or something your spouse
said/did. All of these worries and you still muddle through.
You, indeed, are trying your best. But is your best good
enough?
Parents are quick to say, “I’m being the best parent that I
can.” Yet we see those same parents and their children making terrible, snide
comments or violent behavior, which they don’t even FEEL is inappropriate.
THEY
DON’T SEE IT!!! That’s the sad part! They don’t even realize it!!
Children will remember that specific negative or positive
moment and dwell on it consciously or subconsciously.
Now, I’m the first to admit that I am a little naïve. The nativity
comes from a good place, though, in my humble opinion. I always try to give the
benefit of the doubt, even though it has bitten me in the butt like a ravenous
lion numerous times. Nevertheless, I feel I am a better person from it.
Yes, I am quite aware
that the world is not filled with unicorns and rainbows and happy endings. The
more I go through this journey, the more I see the dark side of this world, and
it literally makes my heart hurt.
The book and movie “The Last Unicorn” has a
line I think of often: “There are no happy endings, because nothing ends.”
That being said, you can still live as happily as you can.
Actually, let me rephrase that...
You can CHOOSE to live as happily as you can.
That usually means not being as selfish as you once were...
After all, Olaf in "Frozen" said it very well: "Love is... putting someone else's needs before yours."
I just love Olaf.
There is no denying that I had a great childhood. My brother and I were constantly filled with love and support from every possible angle. We NEVER saw our parents fight. We found out as adults, of course, they had their struggles and arguments, but it was
NEVER within earshot of us.
Why?
Because they didn’t want us to see/hear that.
They always put their children first.
Some people would disagree and say that children need to see the fights and the
hard times so they can go into the world as adults and know how to get by one
way or another. Ok, I see what you’re saying. Children, when they are a certain older age, may benefit from seeing
some arguments play out rationally.
RATIONALLY.
Honestly, as human beings, how often does that truly play out when it’s the
heat of the moment? I can also see how, when
they are a certain age, it would benefit the child to see the terrible
things around them so they are aware of the possibility of people and things
that can potentially hurt them. Understandable.
I’m all for teaching and
guiding our children to be adults. That’s our job as parents.
BUT there is an
age and a time for everything.
My bottom line:
Stop, look and listen! Take a breather.
Take a snapshot of your
life as an intelligent adult.
If you say, “I’m a good person.” Can you be better?
If you say, “I do what I can in my marriage/relationship.” Can
you connect more?
If you say, “I’m doing the best I can with ______”…. Take a
good hard look.
Are you?
Don’t misunderstand me. I am not in ANY WAY saying I am
perfect.
I have flaws. So do you.
However, we need to learn and listen to the
world around us and to each other individually.
I’m not saying to TAKE everyone’s
advice or to “do what everyone is doing”.
However, you can make some observations of your own. If something is working
for one parent, (or a bunch of parents!) then maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try it!
Or at least with your own spin on it!
I’m also not saying don’t think for yourselves. That would be
ludicrous. I’m saying just listen to others and be open-minded enough to try
something new and grow from it.
We are all a work in progress. I know that every day we are
learning more (as we should) and every day we become a little wiser.
There is always room for growth whether you are a teenager
or you’re 100 years old. You simply have to make the conscious choice.
Take a good hard look at yourself.
It can be difficult, but if you do it honestly it is
humbling and rewarding.
Choose to be as positive as you can be around children. They
will thrive on it. Discipline them when they need it, provide boundaries they
will grow from, and be as kind and loving to EVERYONE around them as much as
you possibly can.
I just read a Facebook poll “Which Dungeons and Dragons
class are you?” – (Don’t judge me! :P)
“You are
driven by your faith or religion, and are not afraid to fight for it. You live
by a strict set of rules and standards and try to be an example to others."
Be that example!
At least, MOST of the time!!!
So, stop for a moment and listen. Breathe. Look
around.
Life is so fragile. JUMP at the chance to be positive, even
in difficult times.
Our children are our future. What do you want our future to
be for them? Or their children? Or their children’s children?
If you read until this point, thank you for sticking with
me.
Obviously, I think very passionately about this subject. I
hope you do, too.
So, I have decided to TRY and keep up with blogging again. As I went to my blogging page, I saw a DRAFT from February of 2011. It was entitled "WHOA! It's been a YEAR!" and it had ONE WHOLE LINE IN IT!!!
"Well, it's almost been a year and I have not posted. Bad, bad Amy."
...sigh... Maybe now that it's 2014, I can keep up a bit.
...now all grown up
