Goings-on in the life of a thirty-something, *quite* sleep deprived mother of two.. Family life drama and rantings, children, relationships, pets, movie critiques... :)
So, since it has been forever and a day, let me bring you up to speed...
First we had Romi.
Unfortunately, she passed away on June 23, 2012.
She was a sweet soul who had a brief time on Earth. :(
Abdominal cancer... ugh.
I wrote this on my Facebook post:
"Rest easy now, Romi, sweet princess. We'll see you again someday in Heaven. Meanwhile, eat all the treats you want and have fun playing and cuddling with Monty, Saber and Tribbles, who are there to meet you. Tell them how much Tabitha and Tara have grown. We love you and miss you terribly. Our hearts ache, but we understand that you were in intense pain while you were here on Earth... We'll always feel you at the foot of our beds and miss the way you would gently nudge us to pet your silky ears... We love you now and forever. "
Oh, ya.
So, before Romi there was:
Monty
Saber & Tribbles
As far as cats go, we still have:
Pandora
and
Charlie Chaplin Moo
As a kitten...
...now all grown up
Anyway, back to the dog timeline.
Romi passed and we were devastated.
Only a couple months later, we acquired:
Monet
(Moe)
(I just LOVE Tara's photobomb!)
and shortly after that
Katie
who we lovingly refer to as KatieBug Magee
Just recently, a family at my veterinary clinic decided they couldn't deal with their elderly Cavalier, Biscuit, anymore. The family gave us a little over one week to find her a home or they'd euthanize her.
Now, that may sound callous, and it is to some degree, but I understand their desperation.
They kept her in the laundry room all the time because they work full time, have children who are in college and don't have the time to let her outside every couple hours...
They owned Biscuit for almost 12 years. They loved her and gave her everything.
Now that she is an old girl, with all of her old girl issues, they don't have time to give her the appropriate attention and love that she needs.
I have known Biscuit for almost 10 years.. I couldn't let her be put down if it wasn't her time. My husband wanted to help, too. So, we decided to take her home for a trial run..
Right away we knew that she adopted us.
Yes, she is mostly deaf and has incontinence issues... maybe even a kidney issue... but she is happy.
We'll just keep on giving her the best quality of life we can give her until the end.
Biscuit and Tabitha
The Three Musketeers.. er.. Cavaliers!
So far, it has been 3 days since she has urinated in the house!!!
YAY!!!!
She still urinates overnight on her bedding in the crate,
As I get older in life, and presumably wiser, I grow more in
awe of life around me.
Stop for a moment and listen. Breathe. Look around.
The beauty around us is enough to make anyone weep with joy!
On the other end to that spectrum, the evil around us is
enough to weep with anger and sadness!
Our children grow faster than the speed of light. They start
becoming little persons. They start stating their honest opinion of things whether
we like it or not. These sponges now have a voice of their own. Who helped to mold
and shape that little person?
Mine looked like this:
Now they look like this:
and this:
Our children become mirror images of us. We need to remember
that they constantly feel our vibes. They learn from our love…AND our hatred. A
little sarcastic or a snide remark in passing that we don’t think matters…
matters to them. On the other side to that coin, they also learn from us when
we do pleasant things. For example, when we do something for someone without
being asked or give an honest compliment, they see it and it sticks with them. Contrariwise,
they get confused when they see us doing something nice for one person, yet
acting terrible to another.
A child who sees their parents show appropriate affection to
each other will in turn look for that in a partner. A child whose parents
outwardly show hatred towards something will also mirror the same. I’m not just
talking racism and intolerance, I’m also talking hatred towards other human
beings whether it be to the other parent, family member or complete stranger.
Parenthood is rocky. You have all-time highs and intense
lows. You have constant lack of sleep. From the time they are a newborn until
they are adults you lose sleep for SO many reasons in EVERY stage of childhood.You are burdened by financial and moral
dilemmas. You are upset over something at work or something your spouse
said/did. All of these worries and you still muddle through.
You, indeed, are trying your best. But is your best good
enough?
Parents are quick to say, “I’m being the best parent that I
can.” Yet we see those same parents and their children making terrible, snide
comments or violent behavior, which they don’t even FEEL is inappropriate.
THEY
DON’T SEE IT!!! That’s the sad part! They don’t even realize it!!
Children will remember that specific negative or positive
moment and dwell on it consciously or subconsciously.
Now, I’m the first to admit that I am a little naïve. The nativity
comes from a good place, though, in my humble opinion. I always try to give the
benefit of the doubt, even though it has bitten me in the butt like a ravenous
lion numerous times. Nevertheless, I feel I am a better person from it.
Yes, I am quite aware
that the world is not filled with unicorns and rainbows and happy endings. The
more I go through this journey, the more I see the dark side of this world, and
it literally makes my heart hurt.
The book and movie “The Last Unicorn” has a
line I think of often: “There are no happy endings, because nothing ends.”
That being said, you can still live as happily as you can.
Actually, let me rephrase that...
You can CHOOSE to live as happily as you can.
That usually means not being as selfish as you once were...
After all, Olaf in "Frozen" said it very well: "Love is... putting someone else's needs before yours."
I just love Olaf.
There is no denying that I had a great childhood. My brother and I were constantly filled with love and support from every possible angle. We NEVER saw our parents fight. We found out as adults, of course, they had their struggles and arguments, but it was
NEVER within earshot of us.
Why?
Because they didn’t want us to see/hear that.
They always put their children first.
Some people would disagree and say that children need to see the fights and the
hard times so they can go into the world as adults and know how to get by one
way or another. Ok, I see what you’re saying. Children, when they are a certain older age, may benefit from seeing
some arguments play out rationally.
RATIONALLY.
Honestly, as human beings, how often does that truly play out when it’s the
heat of the moment? I can also see how, when
they are a certain age, it would benefit the child to see the terrible
things around them so they are aware of the possibility of people and things
that can potentially hurt them. Understandable.
I’m all for teaching and
guiding our children to be adults. That’s our job as parents.
BUT there is an
age and a time for everything.
My bottom line:
Stop, look and listen! Take a breather.
Take a snapshot of your
life as an intelligent adult.
If you say, “I’m a good person.” Can you be better?
If you say, “I do what I can in my marriage/relationship.” Can
you connect more?
If you say, “I’m doing the best I can with ______”…. Take a
good hard look.
Are you?
Don’t misunderstand me. I am not in ANY WAY saying I am
perfect.
I have flaws. So do you.
However, we need to learn and listen to the
world around us and to each other individually.
I’m not saying to TAKE everyone’s
advice or to “do what everyone is doing”.
However, you can make some observations of your own. If something is working
for one parent, (or a bunch of parents!) then maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try it!
Or at least with your own spin on it!
I’m also not saying don’t think for yourselves. That would be
ludicrous. I’m saying just listen to others and be open-minded enough to try
something new and grow from it.
We are all a work in progress. I know that every day we are
learning more (as we should) and every day we become a little wiser.
There is always room for growth whether you are a teenager
or you’re 100 years old. You simply have to make the conscious choice.
Take a good hard look at yourself.
It can be difficult, but if you do it honestly it is
humbling and rewarding.
Choose to be as positive as you can be around children. They
will thrive on it. Discipline them when they need it, provide boundaries they
will grow from, and be as kind and loving to EVERYONE around them as much as
you possibly can.
I just read a Facebook poll “Which Dungeons and Dragons
class are you?” – (Don’t judge me! :P)
“You are
driven by your faith or religion, and are not afraid to fight for it. You live
by a strict set of rules and standards and try to be an example to others."
Be that example!
At least, MOST of the time!!!
So, stop for a moment and listen. Breathe. Look
around.
Life is so fragile. JUMP at the chance to be positive, even
in difficult times.
Our children are our future. What do you want our future to
be for them? Or their children? Or their children’s children?
If you read until this point, thank you for sticking with
me.
Obviously, I think very passionately about this subject. I
hope you do, too.
So, I have decided to TRY and keep up with blogging again. As I went to my blogging page, I saw a DRAFT from February of 2011. It was entitled "WHOA! It's been a YEAR!" and it had ONE WHOLE LINE IN IT!!!
"Well, it's almost been a year and I have not posted. Bad, bad Amy."
...sigh... Maybe now that it's 2014, I can keep up a bit.
Thankfully, we live near enough to the Pacific Ocean that we can visit it from time to time. I love the beach.
We try and have a mini vacation at the coast at least once a year. Past two years we went for my birthday/Valentines Day in February. Winter months are obviously more wet and damp, but the rates are fabulous and the storms are worth watching!
This year, James and I got to go (wait for it) ALONE.. (GASP!) for our 10-year wedding anniversary. Oh, it was so relaxing and wonderful! Yes, we did feel guilty leaving the girls, but Grandma Janis, my mother-in-law, (who was awesome enough to fly all the way from Northern Nevada to watch the girls) constantly updated us with phone pics, videos and texts. That made it easier to let go for a while. :)
We stayed at the Inn at Spanish Head in Lincoln City, Oregon. Arriving to our hotel room, we were welcomed with rose petals sprinkled on the bed and chilled champagne in the refrigerator.
The weather was not too chilly. In fact, it was too hot in the hotel room on the first day we stayed there, and it wasn't from us! heh heh
We opened up the windows and listened to the waves crashing on the shore right under us.
It was so nice to have room service and enjoy each other again. Our marriage has been quite strained since the birth of our newborn in October. A lot of arguments followed stemming from fatigue, illness, melancholy, feeling of being unattractive mixed with the feeling of helplessness, loneliness, getting used to new routines and a new BODY in the house... dichotomy of sorrow mixed with total happiness. I know that seems like a paradox. But it was such a roller coaster of both extremes.
Since our mini-vacation, I feel like we have found each other again. Not just lovers but friends again. It was almost like a second honeymoon. We'll definitely be going back.
People whine too much. Okay, let me start over by saying *I* whine too much. Yes I whine. It's human nature to whine and God knows I have done my fair share of it. I like to get my way, who doesn't? Being brought up a spoiled, yet polite, girl, I want what I want when I want it.
However
If we really take a deep breath, step back and take a look at our lives, we find that we usually have all we really need. ("Princess and the Frog" even states that, thank you, Disney.)
For example, I complain about this that and the other thing, but in reality, all the pros outweigh the cons. By uncountable measures.
I have a beautiful family, a loving goober of a husband for 10 years, two gorgeous/smart daughters, a roof over my head, food in the fridge, cars to drive, gas in the cars, jobs to get to complain about (LOL I really do love my job), friends to complain *to* not *about*. Financially we are a little better off than we were last year, a lot better off than we were 10 years ago and WAY better off than some families in other countries.
Yet I will always complain about what I cannot have at the exact moment I want it. No instant gratification. My wantings may wane over time and I may not want whatever it is anymore. Isn't that the irony?
We are so immersed in a culture of instant gratification that we expect nothing less. And when something doesn't go our way at that same moment, it's hard to let it ride out.
I think life has balanced out. My parents aren't as fruit loopy; my dad even apologized to James. Thanks God. We don't need family drama. Let's hold off on that until the girls are teenagers, please. ha!
James and I are doing well. In fact, May 6th will be our TEN YEAR Anniversary..... TEN YEARS!!!!
Makes us wonder where the time went. You can't help but to reminisce on time rushed by.
I'll post some of my memories later...
We are going to the Oregon Coast for two nights. I still don't know how that was arranged. Act of God, I suppose. LOL I already feel guilty leaving the girls but I know they are in capable hands of Grandma Janis. (James' Mom) It will be nice to sleep in and have an romantic, intimate moment or two with my hubby. With two girls in tow, those moments seem to be few and far between at times. But it's getting better.
Like in the Beatles sang "It's getting better all the time.....Better better beeeeeetttttteerrrrr..."
So you would think that after my last blog things would quiet down some.
Not really.
You know, come to think of it, yesterday was a full moon. I have not had this many negative things happen to me in such a short span of time.
I count my blessings, you can be sure about that.
We have a five year old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Her name is Charlottetown Romance, or "Romi" for short. She looks gorgeous and her temperament is mellow. She was born in England, became a show dog and a breeding bitch for two litters. We adopted her from the breeder in November of 2008 when she was 4.
To sum Cavaliers up, they are the most easy-to-love dogs. Mellow and loving. Unfortunately, they are known to be plagued with health problems, especially after they reach 5 years old. Heart, eye, hip and brain problems; they can get it all - even with immaculate breeding.
Well, yesterday, Romi came up to me and placed her paw on my foot. I know she is smart, but I found that to be a bit more needy than she usually gets. Something didn't seem right from the beginning. She started to shake and crouch down, like she was going to vomit. I kept saying her name over and over. Being a veterinary technician, I have seen my share of seizures, and this was definitely one of them. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head and she seemed to stare away, never responsive to my efforts to talk her through it.
I held her for a while on the floor, knowing that seizures usually last 2-3 minutes. 10-15 minutes later, I started to be frightened. I tried to let her walk, but she stumbled around in circles all the while tilting her head to the side. That symptom usually is attributed to something wrong with the brain.
Wonderful.
This whole time baby Tara was hanging out in her highchair, as happy as can be. What a good baby!
Needless to say, we rushed her into my work and did bloodwork right away.
Normal. Her bloodwork came back normal, but our lab and doublechecked by an outside lab company.
Now she is resting comfortably and is acting like nothing traumatic ever happened. We can only wait and see if it happens again. If it does, then it possibly means a brain tumor.
...now all grown up
