Credit and all that

Credit is evil, honestly.

I think Shakespeare said it well when he said:
"Never a borrower or lender be."

Yes, don't get me wrong, I LOVE the feeling when you can purchase something on credit. You swipe your card, sign your name, take the item home and its yours. YAY

Then comes the bill.

For example, James and I are in the process of purchasing new wedding rings. Our ten-year anniversary is coming up in May and our first rings were given to us by his father. Yes, the original rings still hold sentimental significance, but they are simple -yet sweet- and now that ten years has flown by, we think we deserve something with a little more pizazz to it.

I am getting 1/2 carat,three stone diamond ring, which I can add an enhancer to later. VERY EXCITED.

James is shooting for a 24K White Gold band with Celtic knot work completely engraved around it. Gorgeous. But don't be surprised folks! His band is almost the same price as my diamonds! Yes, I don't get it either.

Anyway, we are very excited. And although this is something we have talked about this purchase for years, now we will have ANOTHER thing to pay on. Unwise choices in our past led us to at least somewhat understand money and its' dichotomy of good and evil. But now it's another thing to budget in monthly.

SIGH

We need to win the lottery.

SLEEP, BABY, SLEEP!

Ok, so food consumption doesn't matter. It's her teeth that hurt this time.

...SIGH...

Just when we started to be on a schedule or sorts...

... oh well...

I would LOVE to be sleeping right now, but I am letting her cry a bit in her crib. Sometimes she goes back to sleep on her own.

Meanwhile, I have discovered that she likes pears and sweet potatoes.

Despises rice cereal. I do, too. :P

Okay, crying turned into snorting, which means she will never go back to sleep.

Off I go...

See? I'm not kidding...

I told you.. sleep deprived.

This baby o' mine seems to like 3am. Why? Only she can tell me, and she's not talking.
We've been trying her on solids for the past week or so, which she very quick to show her disgust. "BLEH!"
"YUCK!"

It's so funny the sounds that come out of a five month old when they actually sound like the work "YUCK!"
I don't blame her. Rice cereal isn't exactly my favorite, either.

For a few days, she was on the schedule of falling asleep at 7pm, waking up at 5am, and two naps (which is unheard of!). Now she is back to waking up at 3am and little to no naps.

Thankfully, she is now sleeping soundly. She may do this for about one hour, wake herself up, then (HOPEFULLY) go back to sleep.

It's amazing how different children can be. You always here the old cliche that "Each child is different" and blah blah blah.
You hear it, ponder it, store it in your mind. But only when there is another child in the picture do you SEE IT and realize that "Yes! This is a completely different human being with completely different needs/wants."

Tabitha and Tara are SO different.

Tabitha is a deep sleeper. (Just like her father.)
You can vacuum on her face (literally, I've almost come close) and she is completely out in sleepy land.

Tara, on the other hand, is a light sleeper. (Just like her mother.)
She can hear a minuscule sound from a galaxy far, far away and awake with large, curious eyes as if to say "GASP! I totally heard that cough that the grasshopper made three blocks away. Well, since I'm up, I might as well stay up and ponder the universe. Oh yeah, and I'm bringing you with me!"

Being up at 3am has its benefits. I do a lot of deep thinking at 3am. You can't help it. I think a lot of people find they are most creative in the wee hours of the morning... poets, lyricists, the Artist Formerly Known as Prince...

As I am feeding and rocking my newborn back to sleep, I can't help but to think of the long laundry lists of things I have yet to accomplish with my life.

That, and what I need to get at the grocery store the next day, how my living room would look arranged differently, if we should get new bookcases, what flowers/vegetables I should buy for the backyard, remembering that I have to weed the front yard, remembering that Tabitha's 6 mos dentist appointment is coming up, how our credit score is doing, trying to motivate myself to work out in the morning, am I a good mother, will my children grow up to be serial killers, are they learning right from wrong, is everyone happy, am I happy, what to do with the million dollars should we win the lottery... the list seems never ending.

And then I find that my mind won't quiet down, as exhausted as I am, to fall back asleep.

I eventually succumb to slumber.

The alarm clock goes off at 5:30am. Time for James to get ready for work. He hits the snooze button once, maybe twice.. okay maybe even three times.
Forget it, I am awake again. There is no hope of sleeping at this point. Should I try and sleep? Of course, but I end up sitting there, cursing the damn, evil alarm clock under my breath. At least it has the sound of ocean waves and not in incessant "BEEP BEEP BEEP" that somehow weasels its' way into your dreams and makes you jump ten feet out of bed.

At this time, Tabitha stumbles down the hallway saying "Good morning, Mommy. I don't want to sleep anymore."
Okay, I might as well get up, start breakfasts, get Tabi's lunchbox and school clothes ready for the day. If Tara's crying and awake by this time, I need to hustle and do everything as fast as I possibly can without a baby in tow.

Then I get Tara up, change her diaper, get bottle ready, etc.

Then Tabitha's bus comes at 7:30am. Off she goes to (hopefully) be all that she can be.

I breathe a sigh of relief that the hectic morning hustle is over with and hope that the baby has a morning nap so I may have a moment to myself.

~~DRAMA~~

Why do people who have the ugliest hearts get the farthest in life?

Isn't that the question for the ages?

Seriously, is it just because they are master manipulators? Or is it just that people find them so abrasive that they don't want a conflict to arise, so they give in and give them what they want?

I recently came upon this dilemma.

I have been employed at a veterinary clinic for 5 years now. Showing them my desire to learn and my work ethics, I worked my way up from receptionist to Vet Technician. I felt I was a well-respected employee. Utilizing my seniority, before the birth of our second child, I took myself down to working one day a week; no one likes to work Saturdays, so I knew it would be perfect.
Shortly after returning from my maternity leave, a co-worker and good friend (so I thought) seemed to have changed her feelings toward me. She starting lying not just to me, but to my superiors. Since I am not around Monday through Friday to defend myself against slanderous rumors, my superiors went on believing the evil co-worker without coming to the source.
Long story short (too late), I was demoted back to where I was before-receptionist. They said that they wanted a technician with more experience for busy, fast paced Saturdays, even though it hasn't been a problem in 3 years. So I am back to answering the phones, smiling and filing. But hey, I guess I don't need all the drama, right?

Heartbroken and disenchanted, I almost feel like they should just fire me.

That said, feelings around the clinic seem to show that no one truly believes her, no one really likes her (off and on) yet they all tolerate her since they don't want a show-down at the O.K Corral.

Part of me thinks she may be jealous of a new friendship from a co-worker who started just before I left for maternity leave. Lindsey and I are the same age, we have a lot in common and a lot of life parallels. For some reason, I feel like I have known her for a long time.
Every Saturday, I feel negative vibrations from the ex-friend co-worker, like Crepuscular sun rays, or in this instance, like wavy stink lines, streaming from her being. I don't know why someone would be such a negative person for no reason at all. Oh, I am sure there is a reason in her devious mind.

This is the exact reason why I never had many girl friends growing up. They all back stab you in some shape or form.

One of my good friends, Teresa, puts it like this: "I hate it when 'friends' get weird. As a general rule, I have few but GOOD ones."
(I love her!)

So I guess she doesn't have it all. You can tell that she is a tormented soul for reasons only known to her. I am the one with a complete family, rich with happiness. After post-demotion anxiety and much soul-searching, I am (relatively) at peace with it all. "It is what it is" has become my motto. I hope she finds peace in life. And a better attitude.

Karma is a real thing.

First Post - Our Life in a Nutshell

Okay, so here goes nothing. Just starting this. I figure, if any unskilled person can do this, then certainly I can. Ha! Anyway.

My name is Amy Wood. I am a thirty year old, blond haired, blue-eyed wife of (almost)10 years and mother of two daughters ages 5 mos and 6 years. I have lived near Portland, Oregon for 6 years now, since our eldest daughter was 2 mos old. (October of 2003.)
I love it here. I love the weather. I love being near the ocean and the mountains. I love that we live in a suburban area, yet we are close enough to a metropolitan city so I don't go completely crazy.

Newest things in my life: a newborn. How new can ya get?
Trying to adapt to her as she's trying to adapt to us. I seem to have blocked out all (or most) of what we went through with our first child. Maybe my subconscious did it on purpose. Either way, I feel like I am doing everything for the second time, the first time. sigh. We'll muddle through somehow.

Tara just turned 5 mos old yesterday and cut her first teeth (yes two at once) today. She's not the happiest of campers, but she continues to keep smiling through it with her large, Bambie doe eyes and batting her long, sweet eyelashes. She cracks us up on a daily basis. I am supposed to be trying to catch up on sleep right now, but for some odd reason, decided to start a blog. HA! It'll be my own fault when I am dragging butt and exhausted later.

Tabitha is six years old. Getting sassy in her old age, she is constantly try to show us who is boss. She is in second grade. She is finally coming into her own after a very challenging and aggravating few years. In preschool, her teachers suspected that she may have Autism or a spectrum of it. After months of testing and psychologists, she was never diagnosed with anything other than Emotional Disturbance Disorder. EDD is when kids can have very sudden mood changes, inappropriate behavior since they cannot grasp how to cope with social situations. For example, a child at school was growling in her face so she punched him! I can't say that I wouldn't necessarily had done the same, but in any case, still inappropriate. She gets overwhelmed by too many people, loud noises, bright lights... basically she gets overstimulated. You can imagine how her recess time is! Her outbursts range from throwing, screaming, hiding, to kicking. Sometimes, a part of me still feels like she has a touch of Autism to whatever small degree, but whatever it is, she is getting better at her coping skills and we are getting better at learning what triggers her meltdowns. I have noticed fairly recently that if she doesn't eat breakfast right away in the morning, she is swift to have attitude, then that sets the tone for all day! Quickly after she eats, she is a whole different child. Very compliant, well-mannered little lady. Despite her problems, she is getting better every day, or so it seems. :)

My husband, James, and I have been married for 10 years, but dating for 13. I love him to the moon and back. We're best friends. However, since the birth of our newborn, I have felt quite a strain on our marriage. I think it's getting better as Tara gets older and we all start to settle into routines. I knew it would be more difficult having two children, but I never believed it to be this challenging. James works for the State of Oregon and he's gone back to school to get his Private Pilot's License, which is something he has dreamed about achieving his whole life. Knowing how much it means to him, I am happily giving him 100% of my support. Unfortunately, I just feel it couldn't have come at a more ill-opportune time.
He started back to school weeks before Tara was born. Of course, that meant that with all the sleep deprived challenges of a newborn baby and all the stress involved, he also brought upon himself classes along with his regular work life. By the time he gets home from work/school, he's so exhausted so he plays his online computer games as a stress-reliever. Well, I don't mind him playing games, but sometimes I feel like the girls and I never get to see him even though we're in the same house. I get tired of nagging, and I am sure he is tired of me nagging, too. When he plays after the girls go to sleep, that's perfect, as long as it's not for 3+ hours every night. I know I am not the only wife who nags about game-playing.
I love and respect him for what he does... puts in long hours, he's trying to better himself at school, he puts up with my crap.. yeah, I'm a little high maintenance. (OK, I put up with his crap, too. Ha!)
He does an awesome job at helping with cooking/dish duty stuff. I have the most appreciation and gratitude for him. Maybe I just don't feel the same feelings back.

So I guess I need a hobby, too. The stress-reliever kind that doesn't take up too much time since I am at the beck-and-call of a newborn 24/7 and double the fun when Tabitha gets home from school in the afternoon.
I need something other than eating whatever I get my hands on and watching TV.
I have always wanted to write a book, so I thought I'd start small and blog a bit.
We'll see where it takes me.